man... last night was not very great for me. i mean, the vipers actually won a football game (( and that'll prolly be the only one they DO win )) which, of course that was great and all. but there was just, this stuff. i could not stop hinking about it, and it just made me so sa. ashley kept saying, "c'mon melissa, please smile..." but i didnt/. it just didnt feel like a moment for me rto smile. i felt like goig behind the bleachers where no one cuold see me and srat crying, that's what i FELT  like the moment should be. i just needed to cry, but i couldnt. not in front of everyone. i just waited till i got home, and i cryed in the shower. andwhen i came out of the shower, my mom asked, why are your eyes so red? have you een crying?? of course i denied it, and i just said i got shampoo in my eye.

have you ever thought about someone so much, that you thought you were going insane?? i eman, you try not to think about them, but you just have to. they always seem to stay engraved in your mind, you just cant stop thinking about them. and then when you see them like at school or something, you dont now what to do, but just smile at them?? i mean, you wanna tell them that you love them, but you just can't find the words to explain how you feel?? thats exactly how i feel, but i just can't put it into words. and he doesnt know that i feel this way either. but i just needa put down, i have never stopped loving you as much as i did.