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Thursday, September 30, 2004
man, im just amazed by guys. they are just so unbelievably hot to me today!! and i dunno why that is, but some of them, i was just floored by their looks today!!
LOstBLacKHeaRT33 (9:40:08 PM): imean they are fun o look at, but it hurts knowing the ones you cant have
TinKerbella 301 (9:35:56 PM): yeah ikr.. if only.. (sigh)
golly, golly,golly.... me and ash were takling about this an it made me so well not sad, but it made me realize a lot of things. no matter how many guys you like, you won't ever be able to have them all. doesnt that suck monkey nads? i mean, gosh sometimes it just hurrts knowing that they don't like you back, or even thik that you are pretty. if only...
if only someone noticed the way i felt about them..... if only someone knew the way i saw them... if only people knew what i was thinking... if only i could tell them my deepest thoughts... if only they could just notice me more than a little girl... if only they could talk to me like they do everyone else... if only they could think more of me than they do now...
ya know i read this blog entry over, and i sound sad!! why is that!!? im not sad, in fact im quite content with myself for now. i mean, there are always things in everyones lives that they wish they could go back and fix or change something for the future... but ya know, no one has a perfect life.
Posted at 9/30/2004 8:52:43 pm by boohbah01
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Wednesday, September 29, 2004
my adventures to places...
jeez we have been outta school for 3 days and now it is time o go back... durn it!! lol. man our foos-ball team ( lol ) is not gonna wanna play any game on friday since they only have one day to practice. but hey, we won a game! so ill be impressed if we win nother (( no offense to any of the football players )) but yah so anyways... in other news...
me and ahley were at the mall yesterday and we went into dillards. and everytime we go into dillards, and we see dresses, we go try on some that we like. well... we both found 2 adorable dresses, and ya know we try on the first ones, we like them and all, ya know but nothing that impressed us. well, we tryed on the 2nd dress and omg! we absolutely fell in love with them! hers was blue and mine was, uh black and hadda strip of white? yah a strip of white on the bottom. and wouldn't ya know it, they were both exspensive as crap. mine was $180, and hers was $ 150 i think. i think i liked that dress better than the one i tryed on a long time go. my "Retro dress" is what i called it. but yah that was our adventure to the mall lol.
when i went back to ashleys house ( to spend the night ) ash showed me this stroy that her cousin ( well hes not really her cousin, but she likes to think so, lol ) but yah ted is his name. and he and some of his buddy people took pics and made it into a stroy while they were at a store. but yah me and ashley decided, hey, why dont we make a story and show it to him? lol well we finished a little it of it, cause it takes a really long time to do, so we didnt make much progress and all, but we needed someone to read it, and look at the pics, so we got ashley's mamma and amber to read it. man, they were laughing so much, so i know we have a hit!! haha.... except for the part when her mamma said we needa take a piss test to check if we were on drugs, but the rest of it was great though. aha good times man, good times.
Posted at 9/29/2004 9:26:22 pm by boohbah01
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Saturday, September 25, 2004
man... last night was not very great for me. i mean, the vipers actually won a football game (( and that'll prolly be the only one they DO win )) which, of course that was great and all. but there was just, this stuff. i could not stop hinking about it, and it just made me so sa. ashley kept saying, "c'mon melissa, please smile..." but i didnt/. it just didnt feel like a moment for me rto smile. i felt like goig behind the bleachers where no one cuold see me and srat crying, that's what i FELT like the moment should be. i just needed to cry, but i couldnt. not in front of everyone. i just waited till i got home, and i cryed in the shower. andwhen i came out of the shower, my mom asked, why are your eyes so red? have you een crying?? of course i denied it, and i just said i got shampoo in my eye.
have you ever thought about someone so much, that you thought you were going insane?? i eman, you try not to think about them, but you just have to. they always seem to stay engraved in your mind, you just cant stop thinking about them. and then when you see them like at school or something, you dont now what to do, but just smile at them?? i mean, you wanna tell them that you love them, but you just can't find the words to explain how you feel?? thats exactly how i feel, but i just can't put it into words. and he doesnt know that i feel this way either. but i just needa put down, i have never stopped loving you as much as i did.
Posted at 9/25/2004 3:57:54 pm by boohbah01
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Monday, September 20, 2004
i got home not too long ago. instead of going to drumline practice (( since there wasnt any )) me ash and tito went to justins house. we played pool for a lil while, ya know just chilled. is was weird cause the only times i would go over to his house, well..
was when weregoing out and stuff. so yah that was the first time i ever really went over there just to hang out as friends. i just regret going over there cause it makes me realize some things. but ya know, im not gonna say them in this.
i dont wanna talk about them. i dont feel like getting sad today. im gonna be happy! lol. but ayh i wish i gotta hang out with some of my friends more, an even the ones who i used to be great friends with, i wish i could be friends with themm again.
i try so hard to, but it is like i keep thinking to myself, am i good enough for them? would they even wanna be friends with me again? ya know, it is just the little stuff like that that keeps me from hanging out with some people or talking to them.
i hope i can stop doing that to myself.oh oh oh!! guess what??!!? i might (( prolly will more than likely )) move over close to the school nn this big peach house that is 2 stories and has an underground pool.
isnt that sweet? the street is a left on golfview. i hope i move over there. that would be like, so friggen awesome. lol no more riding an unaircondtioned bus lol.
Posted at 9/20/2004 5:18:07 pm by boohbah01
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Thursday, September 16, 2004
well today sucked big. in band today, the drummers all got to go into another room to practice a cadence. well we practiced the one cadence about oh i dunno maybe 3 or 4 times. then we moved on to our hardest cadence right? well we strated to play it, but everyone (( mostly everyone )) had forgotten it. and plus our drum teacher dude sane, said that since it was like super duper hard that he was gonna spoon feed t to us. so yah we all get frusrated and people strat bickering and then (( im not gonna mention names or ne thing to be nice )) someone said that we just were gonna sit in there for the rest of class and dod nothing, and since i am about to go o my period i am like super extra moody and stuff to everyone and everything. so i blow up and get ticked and say that i am not just gonna sit in there and just listen to people argue over nothing and us not even play. cause it is just an absoluet waste of my friggen time. so i storm outta there, and then " someone" told "someone" that i was mad at them, and then yah. im really not mad at anyone... im just ticked at why everyone has to bicker about everything and some people (( not everyone )) have to critsize anyone who makes a mistake and wont let the live it down. and this happens to me all the time. which of course ill admit it. and ill prolly be the first one to admit it, i mess up, and prolly more than anyone on the d-rum line. i really dnt care if i do. i dont have a problem with anyone messing up ause yur only human not super man. i mean, god forbid if anyone screws up cause it is the end of the world!!!
Posted at 9/16/2004 3:05:00 pm by boohbah01
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
man i am starting to have mood swings left and right. it totally sucks cause it is almost that"time of month" for me... again! as if i havent had enough pain this week... (( i mean on saturday when i went to my oh so favorite place in the world )) yah right lol! has anyone ever heard of a guy called edgar allan poe? man, we were reading about him in my englih class today, (( but i already knew about him before hand anyways... )) but yah im like totally in love with his poems and stuff. and his life was so sad and depressing too! but ayh enough of that... read this poem called the raven. almost everyone has heard of it... and if u havent you are a loser baby! j.k j.k it is super duper long, but once you read it, you should find it quite interesting... or well ateast i think itis...
The Raven
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door- Only this, and nothing more." Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore- For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore- Nameless here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating, "'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door- Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;- This it is, and nothing more." Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, "Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door;- Darkness there, and nothing more. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!" This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"- Merely this, and nothing more. Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. "Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice: Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore- Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;- 'Tis the wind and nothing more." Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door- Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door- Perched, and sat, and nothing more. Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore. "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore- Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door- Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as "Nevermore." But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered- Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before- On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Then the bird said, "Nevermore." Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, "Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store, Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore- Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore Of 'Never- nevermore'." But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore- What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking "Nevermore." This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore! Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor. "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he hath sent thee Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or devil!- Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted- On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore- Is there- is there balm in Gilead?- tell me- tell me, I implore!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore- Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore- Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore." Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." "Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting- "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted- nevermore! |
Posted at 9/15/2004 6:01:02 pm by boohbah01
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today was awesome. we ( the drumline ) all practiced our new cadence, and we already have it memorized from only playing it today. isnt that freakin awesome? the bad news is, we have to learn 8 more pages! wahoo! lol. and we still have to go to school early on fridays. we begon paying at 8:05. oh joy right? not really now i hafta get up earlier just to be at school! waaa! aha! hey ashley remember the duffs? lol. today at lunch we were talking about how there is always a fat girl inna group of 3 girls that are friends. lol. so we ( me ashley and caroline ) were trying to figure out who the duff was. and we were just sitting there arguing. we'd be like, ok how much do YOU weigh? and what size pants do you wear? lol. and when i said that i wore 1's and 3's so ashleys like.... well thats only beause u have some big ass hips! haha. well it is great to know that im not bein called the duff. we decided that one to be ashley even though she weights the least and it super skinny as a twig. lol.
Posted at 9/15/2004 3:33:49 pm by boohbah01
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Sunday, September 12, 2004
MUSIC: matchbook romance, promise
MOOD: eh, so so... not happy, not sad
do you know how people say that they wish they could take backtime and correct what they did wrong? well i used to always think about doing that. what i'd change, what actions i would have said, what actions i would have made.but if you DID go back in time, then wouldn't you just go back with the same knowledge as before? cause i mean, if you are in the future, then you go back in time, who says that you would take the knowledge you have now, BACK with you? just think about it. i dunno if this makes any sense, but i know it does for me.
we drive tonight
and you are by my side
we're talking about our lives
like we've known eachother forever
the time flies by
with the sound of your voice
its close to paradise
with the end surely near << << tiger lily: matchbook romance
and if i could only stop this car and
hold on to you
ill never let go
as we round the corner to your house
you turned to me and said
i'll be going thru withdrawl of you
for this one night we have spent
and i want to speak these words but
i guess i'll just bite my tongue
and except someday somehow
as the words that we'll hang on
Posted at 9/12/2004 8:43:00 pm by boohbah01
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im talking on the phone to jimmy rite now... yah it's great. we're 5talking about going up to random people and giving them flowers lol.. but yah. today im inna ok mood. my lower quadrant still hurts a little bit, but i will be A-OKAY! ;)
dude im so bored rite now. you just DONT UNDERSTAND!! i needa get outta my home! maybe ill go and pay random visits to peoples houses someday!! you guys always said i was welcome over there whenever i wanted to come! so im gonna go over someday!! yay for me!!
someone needs to call me. cause this is pathetic that im all alone 24/7 doing nothing. or maybe i should give YOU GUYS a call lol. nah. dont wanna right now. i think im gonna go to sleep inna while. im SO TIRED!! oh and srry if ya'll like fsu but man.. they lost. and in over time!! i mean, they were winning the hole time, and then they lost it! losers! but i guess its cause they played like i dunno the 5th ranked team. maybe thats why i guess. who knows!! but hey needa shape up and win the next one!
Posted at 9/12/2004 1:36:18 pm by boohbah01
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Saturday, September 11, 2004
my adventure to the hospital!!
well... today was very interesting... i woke up at 3 in the morning, with intensly sharp ain in my lower left quadrant... (( next to my hip bone )) and i stayed up al night do to those horrible pains. i was already awake when my mom came inside my room to wake me up for practice at the gym, and i told her about my sharrp pains. she called my coach and told her i wasnt going to pratice. she took me to the doctors office, but of course they HAD to be closed. so my mom took me to the hospital instead. we waited for about an hour or so, and then the lady person called me back. i hadda fill out papers with whatever it was... and then we waited for prolly another hour or two, and then they took me back to a room in the far back, and i changed into one of those really hideous gowns they give you to wear. well anyways, after i did that, the doctor lady asked what was wrong, and she said that id need to get a pelvic exam... (( wahoo, fun fun fun )) and then an ultra sound. well after i had been properly violated (( lol )) the doctor came back a few hours later she diagnosed me with some kinda big word. ill put it in later... in basic terms she said that i had tiny sists around my ovaries when im.. uhh ((releasing my eggs )) and they would explode, causing this horrible pain about two weeks after my.. uhh, cycle was done. so now i have yet another pill i needa take everytime i have this pain..... so yay for me and my friggin screwed up body!! haha
Posted at 9/11/2004 3:30:15 pm by boohbah01
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